I think it's entirely understandable why we want some regularity and predictability in our lives. I think it's reasonable to have some degree of certainty how your day, your life, your job, your relationship and all parts of your living will go.
We often find it hard to feel safe and secure in our worlds when something or someone is constantly opposing, blocking or denying our idea of how our life should proceed. And usually, most of these blockages proceed on to becoming endings in one form or another. And endings of any nature in our lives are closely preceded by something that feels unpleasant and destabilizing. Not much fun all in all.
Yet, if we are ever to grow and become more of the person we are truly capable of becoming, we must have endings in order to experience the glory of new beginnings. Even if we are only climbing a stairway we must end the sensation our foot had with each step before in order to now have a new, perhaps better, perhaps worse, sensation with the next step in the rung. And yes, this is a very simplistic metaphor of life and its necessary movement, regardless of whether going up or coming down, but it does convey that even the most mundane things that we do on a daily basis are going through the consistent cycle of endings and beginnings.
So with that in mind, I think we can all agree that no....we wouldn't want to be stuck on the same step forever; never moving, never reaching the places we were headed to, never encountering new people, new experiences or new environments. So we must move. We as humans are compelled to go forward despite our hesitations because we want to get to where we need or want to go; even if our need for forward motion is entirely subconscious.
Life's bigger endings and beginnings are comprised of the same desire, needs and challenges. We must quite often end something, perhaps something we felt we needed, wanted or desired in order to proceed on with our journey, our lessons and our experiences.
And no, I don't believe there has to be a lesson in every experience we have, but I do believe that quite often there is one. I believe that if we choose to learn something from every achievement, perceived failure and/or painful ending, we grow exponentially from having gone through it. In other words, whatever time you spent on the step before is not wasted if you understand the purpose that the prior step served. Perhaps it helped you to go higher than you were before, perhaps it gave you the experience needed to climb more steps, or perhaps simply because it gave you the opportunity to have experienced it at all.
So we must learn to appreciate the necessity, the quality, the safety and the interaction we may have had with the last step in our lives, while also appreciating the same for the next step that surely follows. Enjoy the unknown and the strength of your spirit to keep on going despite not always knowing where the next step will come from and what will be at the top or at the bottom of your journey. Somehow, you still keep stepping regardless of the pain of leaving your last experience because you know deep inside that there is a purpose and an end result you will achieve if only you keep moving.
I have profoundly grown to understand this month how if you keep focusing your energy on your last step you will surely not proceed to the next step with as much solidity and stability as you might have liked.
Life has a way of causing such chaos to erupt in someone's life when certain things are taken from us that it can throw us off balance for the next step we need to pursue. Whether the ending involves your career, your relationships, your money, your health, your friends, family, etc... really makes no difference. Most endings are painful to one degree or another. However, if we continue to focus on that pain, that betrayal or the lack of fairness that has just been introduced into our lives, we quite often miss the real necessity of that ending having to take place in order for something better, or at least more aligned with our potential to be introduced into our lives.
I believe there has to be room for something new to be given to us, and that nearly always requires something old, and perhaps deeply familiar, to leave. You can only fill a drawer so full until there is no more room for anything else to be added....same with our lives. And if the something new is monumental, then the alteration of something familiar to us that is now leaving us must also be monumental.
If we want to make this change as painless as possible upon our selves, we should look for the new and quit focusing on the old and whatever pain, betrayal, loss or guilt we have because of it. If you are honest with yourself you will know that this looking back and mourning our loss really doesn't get us anywhere anyway. Because if we are so bound up with worry, fear or sadness we slow down the new potential that is coming into our lives because we aren't yet ready to take the next step. And the worry and pain won't changes what has happened, it will only delay or distort our view of our lives, our purpose and where we are to go next.
Don't get me wrong, when bad things happen in my life I quite often delve into the lamentation and the anger or pain for awhile. I believe it's natural, it's human and it's healthier than suppressing these feelings. However, I also know that as soon as I accept what has happened and try to find a way to learn what I can from the loss and then apply that knowledge in a productive way to whatever I am left with, the new simply appears....rather quickly I might add.
I believe wherever energy goes creation flows. So if we focus on the bad we seem to see and experience more of it. If we focus on the good, either our situation grows lighter or something new, better, more exciting and so much nicer than the old comes in to totally replace it.
I know that it's hard to let go. I know that it's easier to lament our assault or our deep disappointment in someone else's behavior, but the bottom line is this; you can do that for awhile and get it out of your system, but then you must become determined to grow even in spite of it sometimes, and look forward with anticipation knowing that something extremely wonderful is getting ready to happen...perhaps the very thing you never thought you would attain just drops in your lap. Believe me, it happens.
Our refusal to let go of people, places and things in our lives only hurts us. It denies us the opportunity to fully appreciate that in our loss something new is being made room for. Especially when it's a job, a relationship, a home, a lifestyle, a bank account or something more.
If you've lost a person to death, which many people have recently because Pluto also oversees dying and death, then you've experienced something that won't really be replaced. You do have the opportunity to grow after experiencing such a loss, but it's a different and slower growth.....yet I will leave the discussion of letting go after the death of a loved one for another place and another forum.
In this article I'm talking specifically about every other type of loss....the losses that when compared to a loss through someone's death seems minute in severity. Yet, at the time of such losses can seem to overtake, destroy and deeply sadden our lives; turning routine into chaos and expectation into futility. These are the losses that are always necessary and also quite revealing to us in how exactly we have set up our priorities and how misplaced they may oftentimes have become.
In summary, the more severe the loss, the more potential we have for great gains. The more destructive the change is to our lives, the more vulnerable the foundation we have built our lives on. And the more tragic we make it, the more tragic it becomes.
If we can truly learn to "go with the flow" we will be led to our true potential much more quickly and painlessly than if we are determined to swim against the currents; which is exhausting and quite often futile.
Good luck to you and yours as you try to find your own way to flow with the currents of your life, and theirs. Whenever you have loved ones you also find yourself quite often being caught up in their own life struggles. Just remember, everything always works itself out....in my case, I've never seen it not work out for the better. And for every minute we spend stressing about the outcome, we lose the pleasure of just being us in this lifetime and getting to see, hear and feel the things that inspire and delight us because we are bogged down by our burdens. And for what? It's going to happen how it's going to happen anyway...regardless of our struggle against it.
Learning to Let Go easily, gracefully and with full anticipation of the new beginnings that are sure to follow is so much easier on our bodies and our minds. It is one of the single best things we can do for ourselves. But it does require that we trust someone to catch us when we feel like we're falling. And that in and of itself is quite possibly our lesson after all.
God Bless.
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