Together We’re Perfect

Since day one we've shared something incredible, something that most people only dream of. I had been searching for you all of my life. You have made me the happiest I have ever been. You are sincere, caring, loving man, and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I am so thankful and blessed that you loved me as much as I loved you, and that you made me your girlfriend.

Today we celebrate our 22nd month and I have cherished every moment since the day we met. I love you more and more everyday. Thinking about our future fills me with anticipation and excitement. We make the perfect boyfriend and girlfriend team, and I cannot wait to bring this little angel into our world. We are going to have an amazing life together raising a family. All of our dreams are coming true.. 

Don’t worry about the times that we will be tight on money, I know that we can make it through and get to that place where we’ll have all we ever wanted. We have so much to be thankful for. We will just continue to lean on each other, loving and supporting one another with all of the love we have, and we will be just fine. 

Our life together is already amazing, and together it will only get better and better. I will forever be grateful that you came into my life and made all my dreams come true. Together we're perfect, and I will enjoy enjoying spending the rest of my life with you. I love you more than words can say.

Thank You for the Past 18 Months

No word can compare

How much you mean to me

I don’t ever dare

To question the One Up There

For this love that both of us have

We both give ourselves chances

For the Love that once was not a success

We both pray that this could be

And Yes, in this time

That we journey together

As you and me ought to be

Loving each other faithfully

Months past, our love grows amazingly

Trying times we both conquered triumphantly

With GOD at our side

And He Alone in us ABIDE 

I can face tomorrow

And I am ready to bear any sorrow,

Knowing that you are always there for me

Surely, we can both go through it all

Only by GOD’s Grace….only by His Power!

Happy 1 yr and 6 month anniversary to us...

My Lover My Friend

If someone would ask me when the happiest time in my life was, I would gladly recall the day I met a person I‘d never thought would occupy a significant place in my heart and in my life. Yes, it was the time I met my Rock...

Two years ago, I gave myself a chance to love again after experiencing those very painful broken relationships before I met my boyfriend My heart seeks for someone who would accept me as I am, someone who would understand my mood swings, a person who could say right in front of my face which area I should change and which area I should continue doing, and above all could give the love I was looking for – a real love, a true love, a love that gives its genuine meaning; a different kind of love that others may find it so difficult to understand.

I know there were times that you have a hard time understanding me but I appreciate every bit of patience you give to me; every honest word you utter; every loving affection you show to me . I know having GOD as the center of this relationship, we will grow more in love in each day as we face it.

Now, as we both see it, no matter what happens, we don’t need to worry anymore because GOD KNOWS BEST for this relationship. Just continue praying that we will both grow and in HIS TIME, we will be together…

Getting Over Heartbreak

Ending a relationship is painful. You have invested much of your time, and built hopes and dreams for the future on the person you thought was “the one.” Letting go is difficult, when you had so much of your heart and mind focused on one person. You may feel like you have no control anymore over your own thoughts. However, there are ways for you take control back, close this chapter of your life and move on to better things. Here are five important ones.

Enjoy Nights Out with Friends.

You should not sit alone moping and dwelling on “what ifs.” Hit the town with friends, for a ladies’ or guys’ night out. It will keep your mind busy and get you back out into the world. You can see there is still life to enjoy and plenty of great people out there to enjoy it with. You won’t dwell on your ex if you are busy having fun.

Indulge in a Spa Treatment

Visit a local spa and indulge in the works. The world will seem a better, happier place when you feel pampered. The massages or soaks in a spa will allow you to totally relax and enjoy some quiet time, free from any thoughts but how good it feels. Giving your body a break from stress and your mind relief from turmoil will be good for your health and help get you on the road to recovery.

Keep No “Souvenirs” of the Relationship

Don’t make the mistake of holding onto items that are bound to make you feel the sense of loss all over. You can pack them away, give them away, sell them on eBay or throw them in the trash. The very act of getting rid of them helps you accept the finality of the relationship’s demise so you can get on with your life.

Don’t Mope Around the House

Get dressed and get out. Sitting in the house does not help you keep your mind off your ex and your home will inevitably remind you of them. There is plenty to do to pass the time whether going to a movie, the mall, or a friend’s place. Getting out will remind you of all the great things in the world you still want to enjoy.

Take a Vacation

Have fun and go for a trip, it might help you forget that you are heartbroken.  Now is the best time.

Don’t torment yourself with thinking incessantly about what could have been or what went wrong. Let the past go and start thinking about the fun you can have in the present, so you can start looking forward to the future. Losing a valuable relationship is traumatic and you have the right to feel disappointment, sadness and loss. Do not wallow in these emotions. Acknowledge them and make a conscious decision to move on. Don’t wait to feel better–be proactive and take charge of your life and your feelings. You deserve to be happy.

Trust

What is trust in a relationship

How to trust when your insecure

Someone very dear to me was telling me just yesterday that they really don't trust anyone 100%.  And that made me think, neither do I.  In fact, my guess would be that neither does anyone, other than perhaps a very young child.  And even then it would be entirely dependent upon their childhood.

I have many people in my life that I trust to try very hard to help me out of a bad spot.  I also have many people in my life that I trust to share a "small" secret with.  I also trust many people not to purposely harm me, or at least, do their best to avoid it.  I also trust most of what many people share with me.  I trust that most people are basically good and want to do "the right thing". 

However, our opinion of the "right thing" might be completely different than their opinion of it. Therefore, how can I possibly be too disappointed when they betray my trust in minor ways, as in their opinion, they may not have violated their definition of trust at all.

There are many people that I care a great deal for, some I even love deeply, that I do not trust completely.  How can we trust someone with the deepest and dearest parts of us when they too are human and have their own life situations pressing them?  

A good example of this might be if you are in a relationship and your partner takes up with another person, has an affair so to speak.  This is a strong violation of trust, however, again, we are all human and sometimes we do blatantly stupid things.  Things that hurt other people, even when that was the farthest thing from our minds when we did it. 

So what then?  Do we refuse to trust them again, hold it over their heads for the rest of our lives, or run away vowing never to love again?

I guess that depends upon the people involved, the precise events, and really it boils down to what you want to do.  I don't believe any of these things are better than the other, but some are healthier for our hearts than others.

In my past I have been cheated on, as many people have.  I have also been the cheater.  Did I do it because I was weak?  Or was it simply my way of sabotaging something that should have ended a long time ago?  Either way, I probably dented someone's ability to trust in having done so.

What I'm saying is that we simply can't expect more from someone than we are capable of giving ourselves, and none of us have clean hands....even though I'd like to sometimes convince myself I do...I know better.

And before any one thinks my last month involved an affair of some sort, let me get my husband off the hook and tell you....no....that was not what made my month so crazy...I'm simply using this as an example because so many people feel this is the ultimate betrayal of trust; probably because it hurts so much.

So who do we trust?  How much should we trust?  Why must we trust at all?

I believe we must trust people to one degree or another or we'll all go mad.  We need friends, confidantes and sometimes just someone we feel safe to lean on.  If we don't trust anyone we live a life of paranoia and fear, and who wants that?

So we must put our hearts out there every now and again and just hope that it doesn't come back too tattered.  Although, if we do it correctly, even if it does come back a little bruised, we know we'll get by....Why?

Because the key to trust is trusting ourselves.  Trusting ourselves to be OK when someone we love hurts us.  Trusting ourselves to do the best we are capable of doing for most of the time.  Trusting ourselves to never give up hope that tomorrow will be brighter and that even if it's not, we'll patiently wait for OUR TIME...because we know it's coming.

We trust in a higher purpose hopefully....a higher power.  If we do, we understand that there is a plan and we trust "they" have our best interest at heart, even when it hurts a bit getting to it.

We trust that in the end all of our broken hearts, disappointments and hard won lessons will have a reason and play a purpose in our lives and all of our lives to follow.

That's why I believe that the very best thing we can do for ourselves is this....when someone lets us down, betrays our trust or does something we consider untrustworthy, we forgive them.  We understand their human too and sometimes they are going to put their needs above ours.

Does that mean we have to stay in a relationship with them?  Of course not.  We have the right, indeed the duty, to treat ourselves well.  We HAVE to trust ourselves enough to at the very least take care of ourselves.  Therefore, sometimes we need to end relationships, jobs, friendships, habits, etc..., because that's the best thing for us to do. 

The only thing we can hope for is that we can trust ourselves enough to do it in the best, most kind way possible so that we don't single-handedly destroy the trust of someone else.  Although I must say, I don't think anyone can single handedly perform such a monumental deed....usually the destruction of trust comes in the form of a slow erosion.

However, that being said, I also think that when we allow our trust to be destroyed, it is because we have chosen to let that happen.  It isn't possible for someone else outside of ourselves to change our minds to such a degree if we don't allow it to happen.

So, do I trust completely?  No.  Unfortunately, I'm just not that innocent any longer.  However, I do still trust, even in spite of the fact that we humans are never completely trustworthy....I guess I prefer to look at the glass as half full.  I would miss out on so many wonderful people and interactions if I didn't.  So will you.

If you allow life to scar you so deeply, then it suddenly doesn't really seem worth the living...and what a shame that would be.  I've seen people who have let that happen in their lives, and I can honestly say that is no where near where I want to be.

So trust me when I say....trust as much as you're personally comfortable with....know that people will surely let you down from time to time, and sometimes you'll want to hide under your covers and refuse to trust again....but it just isn't worth it.  If you trust yourself to always come out the other side of any situation both wiser and stronger, then the risk is not really that great.

Don't give up on people.  Most of them aren't trying to hurt you, and the few that are, usually don't matter that much in the scheme of your life for very long.  So do yourself a favor and let them go.  

You really will grow stronger for having gone through it, and you really will be OK, even if you don't want to be....because that's how life works.

What Men Really Want In a Wife

Since men do not discuss their feelings as easily as women, it is often difficult to determine just what they expect out of marriage. Many women throughout time have been devastated by a sudden divorce request from their husbands. They may have thought that he was perfectly happy but in truth, he was completely miserable. In order to keep your marriage healthy it is vitally important to understand what men really want in a wife and how to be the wife that they want and need. To understand the concept of what men really want you can look at some of the marriage priorities that men have given over the years to counselors and friends.

First and foremost, men want to be appreciated. They want to know that you appreciate the work that they do and everything that they contribute to your marriage and family. Simply put, men do not want to feel as if they are being taken advantage of. Just imagine how you would feel if you didn’t think anyone appreciated all the hard work you do. Men are no exception.

They also like to know that they are making you happy. They want their wives to laugh and smile frequently. They want you to laugh at their jokes and appreciate their stories. Of course you don’t want to plaster a fake Ms. America smile on your face at all times. You need to really keep a good sense of humor and appreciate the little ways that he tries to make you smile.

They want you to be concerned about them. They want to know that you are concerned about their general well-being. If your husband is not feeling well then he wants you to take care of him. If he is sad or depressed then he wants you to comfort him and be concerned about his feelings. Women are not the only ones with emotional issues. Men feel just as deeply as women do they just have more trouble expressing those feelings. If you see your husband feeling down or having an emotional crisis then be there for him. This is especially true in homes with children. It is often a woman’s prerogative to put her children’s needs before her husbands. Just know that sometimes he may need you more. He may need a bit more affection and caring to let him know that you are still concerned about him even though you may have other issues to deal with at the moment.

Finally - and this is the big one - he wants time alone with you. Although a healthy sex life is important to many men, being alone together does not necessarily mean for sex. It is important for you both to be sexually satisfied but it may be a bit more important to just spend alone time together. A date night once every week or so will do wonders for his self-esteem and yours as well. It will help you to create and maintain a stronger bond between you. Men want to know that their wives want to be with them. Honestly, men are like little boys sometimes who often feel self-conscious and frightened. It is important that you show your husband that you are still attracted to him, not just sexually but emotionally as well.

If you feel that your husband is not currently happy then discuss these issues with him. Ask him how he feels about your marriage and your personal relationship. Give him the opportunity to speak up about what he feels is missing in your marriage. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Talk to him and ensure that you are both getting everything that you dreamed from your relationship.

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.